#179: Late at Night

There comes a time when you feel too tired to even speak. And as much as you try, no sounds come out of your moving mouth. And every faint sound around you hurts your ears badly. The sound of the clock ticking is so loud that your whole body tickles with it. Your breathing is so heavy that you actually count your breaths. You’re trembling from the inside. You don’t feel your head or your limbs. And though silence surrounds you, there’s a very loud scream inside of you. You try to sleep, you try to escape this void, but you don’t. And your mind can’t stop analyzing every sound it hears, or had ever heard before. You start drawing pictures and directing movies of people you haven’t even heard of before. All inside your little mind. You hear another faint sound, it grabs your attention and your breathing is heavy again. You start thinking “Should I keep my eyes closed, though I’m not asleep? Or should I get out of bed and light up the room?” You open your eyes, and you realize that you are wide awake, but your mind is sleeping. You check the time, three hours have just passed. “That soon?! I’m so wasting my time pretending.” You start counting, maybe you’ll fall asleep when you reach hundred. “.. hundred and one, hundred and two, hundred and.. Am I still counting! I must have skipped some numbers. I've got to get out of here. Please mind, sleep or wake UP!” You close your eyes again.

You open your eyes, get out of bed, put the lights on, go wash your face, then come back. You sit on your desk, grab your laptop, and you start writing “There comes a time when you feel too tired to even speak. And as much as you try …”

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Good night.