Daydreams...

You scare me, you know?! Because, all that I ever wanted was that you be the same person you say you are. And, now, I’m slowly discovering that you too wear masks. Everyone around me said that you must wear masks, even if you say you don’t. — Wait a minute! You yourself said that you wear masks differently. You just said it indirectly. How come I was so naive to think that you wouldn’t wear masks! I guess I wear them too.. Don’t we all?! But here is where I got confused.. The  mask you wear when you are with me is somehow different than that you wear with others.. You showed me sides of you that you’d rather not show to anyone. And I liked you for this! I knew you have other hidden sides as well, but I thought I could earn some more trust for you to unveil these sides by time. — About that, I myself haven’t yet unveiled much of my hidden sides to you. So, it’s fair enough. — I just thought your mask for me was special. But isn’t that how masks work? They are made to seem special, t

Because it’s easier to hate yourself than to love it! It’s easier to sleep late than to wake up early! It’s easier to eat something junk than to cook for yourself. It’s easier to disappear on people than to invest in your relationships. It’s easier to run than to fight back. And it’s easier to surrender than to run. Because our minds are tricked that sometimes death is easier. We are tricked, that maybe what we don’t know is much easier than that what we know is hard, or that what we think is hard. Like playing cards, whenever you pick up a card that might be the one you need, you wonder if the next one would make you win more, or faster. What is the possibility?? Truth is not easy. It requires work. A lot of work. Don’t choose easy. Stand up. And Keep moving.

I thought I was too close to hitting rock bottom. But as I go down, I can’t see the end of it, or hear that crashing sound. I badly want to reach it, that last bottom, so that I can reach the other side and start climbing. It doesn’t come. It doesn’t make a sound. But, wait! Should it really make a sound?! Maybe I have reached it, soundlessly, but I can’t yet see the other side I am supposed to climb. Maybe, I have reached it slowly, so I didn’t crash! Or maybe.. M aybe I haven’t reached it yet, but it’s getting narrower that maybe if I focused and looked thoughtfully, I could see a way to the other side, take a leap of faith and jump to it. Is it?! A dear friend and mentor once said that sometimes change is so simple that it goes by unnoticed. That sometimes to make that huge change you’re seeking, you may only need to make only one different choice. One choice. And that’s it. Boom.. Your whole life is different. One simple choice, like, taking the metro, and not a taxi. Or deci

It’s in the small details where all things that truly matter exist. Those tiny details that you are embarrassed to talk about. Like how angry you get when you can’t find that white bandanna that you really really love to wear because it makes your face look brighter and more beautiful. And like all the blames you do in your mind, hitting everyone who lives with you, because somehow they are responsible for making you lose it. And then the decision you take at this very moment  that you shall not tell anyone about it to go to buy a new one that looks exactly the same. And so you feel a hell of a burden for that one more errand added to your list of things you want to do. And the world then feels like the scariest of places where you are left abandoned. “Why am I here?”, you start asking yourself. “Is this how everyone feels when they lose something they love? Is it even worth all those feelings and thoughts?! Or am I just exaggerating? Because I am so spoiled and ego-centered?!” Yo

What is this? Where am I?  It’s so bluish. Everything is blue. It’s cold too. How did I get in here?! What happened?!  Where on earth is such a room?! It’s so small and I can’t tell where the floor ends or the walls begin; they are all blue. It’s circular!! And there is nothing here except an old blue armchair with silver legs. And I wasn’t even sitting on it. I was lying on the floor. What happened?! How long have I been away?! How come I can’t remember anything! .. Could this  be a dream?! I hear laughter from outside the door. Even the door is blue. There are no windows. Am I going to suffocate in here?! It sounds like some little girls are playing outside. I bang on the door. “Hello. Can anybody hear me?! ... Hello!!!” ... The laughter suddenly stops. And silence rules the air. Am I having hallucinations?! I remember. I was running and it was dark. I can’t recall where I was heading or what I was trying to escape. I was just afraid. Afraid of losing someone. Was someone hurt an