Daydreams...

How do I get to choose? When the reason why I have to pass you by and choose not to choose you, is the same reason why I have to stick to you, insist on you, never let you go easily, and choose you with every will I have. I don't get to choose! There's no choice in here, there's only fate waited to be assigned to take over and choose for me. Finally, I choose to not have the choice. And that's the best option I have. The best I can do.

I came to realize that you are not the person who I thought you were. I remember the day I announced you as a dear and best friend. And I remember you saying how glad you are. But then, you never treated me that way. Maybe once or twice, just because it was easy at that time to do so, just because you too needed a friend. But no, you never were a friend to me, and I don't believe you'd ever be. I'm not disappointed or anything. I just keep saying this out loud to myself to accept the fact that not everything I would wish for, I would get. 

The great question: How to get what you need and not just what you want? Answer: Simply be smart enough to want what you need! Know yourself well, then know what you need, then want it, desire it. And as it is easier for you to get what you want, then it'll be much easier to get what you need and what you want all at the same time. Piece of cake, right?! Well, no, it isn't; I know!

You say that you are here, but you are never here. You are supposed to be my friends, but you turn out to be fake ones. And I hate myself every time I care more about the fact that you are not here though I know very well that you are fake, that you are not supposed to be my friends, that you are actually not mine. I hate to care so much that I hate how I think that you don't care. And I hate to say this here, and I hate to say this out loud!

I'm Sorry, okay! I'm sorry. I make mistakes that I don't intend to do. And I never see them coming. But they happen. I make mistakes because I don't know how to turn someone down. So I do things against my will so that others become satisfied. They end up not satisfied. Not every time. Because doing things unwillingly makes me do them wrong, so sometimes I fail them. I do mistakes when I think I'm doing the right thing. I lie to people because I don't want to disappoint them, but they end up disappointed anyway by the fact that I've lied. It's typical of me, I do the same mistake all over again and I never learn. I not the victim anymore. I'm just a sinner who thought himself was a saint!

Just when I thought I was over it. Just when I thought I was strong enough to handle this. Just when I thought everyone had forgotten about it and that I hadn't to fight anymore. Just when I decide to let go. Surprise Surprise. It's still there; it's not actually as I thought it had turned out to be. Like you're already running late, so you're running as fast as you could and you hardly arrive on time, but you do, you mange to arrive just exactly on time, but then it takes you forever to park your car. So eventually and in everyone's eyes you are late, too late! Dreams do come true, sometimes earlier than you have hoped for, but that you don't get to realize, and sometimes later than what you wish for, and that you realize thoughtfully and regretfully. You're not happy as you thought you'd be, simply because you're not sure that it is what you've been really dreaming of. You get lost and undetermined about it, the whole of it. You have c

"I have nothing to do about it.  Talking him through it is impossible for me and for her,  not now at least, not at the moment." Sometimes there's literally nothing to do and nothing to say except to pray. Pray hard and deep from your heart that things might get better one day, sooner I hope. Because time is passing by and one day it'll be too late for a change to happen. One day everything will go away. One day we'll all die and there won't be any more time to undo what we have done. One day our life will be over and we wouldn't have the chance to set it right, not ever again. Life is indeed short! So start now, right now at this very moment, and decide to set everything right and straight. Your relation with your family, your friends  and your loved ones. Your relation with your mates at work or at school. Your relation with strangers, and your attitude all over your life and towards every tiny detail in it. Even your relation with yourse