#220: It has been a while
It has been three months now. I was not counting, by the way, because I lost track of the day when my misery began. But today I exerted that extra effort to know when it was exactly. Three months of fighting and denying. I had no idea it would be this hard. I had no idea that without you I'd feel this much of loneliness. I thought I was already over you long ago. And guess what! I dreamed I was chasing you, running to catch you, barefoot! What a dream! Why in hell would I ever chase you?! Anyway, your birthday passed, and thank God I managed to pass this day safely. But I still remember it! They say writing helps, so I'm writing. And I don't care anymore who would read. This is a step forward. I'm trying hard to disconnect from the world and get in touch with me. I'm trying not to deny anymore. I'm changing. Yes, the change is out of pain, but that is how people change, right? I'm only trying to control that change and drive it into good, a