Daydreams...

I'm sorry I deny my love. I'm sorry I'm afraid to admit that you're the one my heart secretly desires. I'm sorry if I talk behind your back. I'm sorry I'm listening to the people who tell me that it won't work. I'm sorry that you've hurt me once and my heart can't easily trust you. I'm sorry I'm confused and worried. I'm sorry if I'm unintentionally ruining our future, if we have a one. I'm sorry I'm looking for options. I'm sorry I won't support you or stand by you, just not yet. I'm sorry I'm not trying to control our lives. I'm sorry you'll have to prove yourself all over again. Not just for me this time though. I'm sorry I don't know what to do, what's wrong and what's right. I'm sorry, okay I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?! Will I forgive myself?

"It's better to let someone walk away from you than walk all over you." I won't blame you if you left. I won't blame you if you disappeared now. I won't blame you if you stopped talking to me. I admit I'd be curious for a while, but then, I won't blame you. On the contrary, I'd be relieved! But please don't hurt me before you go. You've already hurt me once and twice, and the thrice I won't handle! I just wouldn't stand seeing myself being hurt by you for a third time. Just leave, without a notice. Just leave, and don't excuse yourself. Don't make a scene. Don't say I was wrong. Don't hurt me again!