#238: I remembered...

I asked myself, what's making my life on hold? What am I waiting for? And the answer was that I don't feel home, I don't feel like I'm settled down, so I can then start to live freely and get based on solid roots.

Then, I figured out that no place ever feels like home, and that I almost have never felt like I'm settled down. And then, I remembered that here on earth I shall never find the place I can call my home, simply because my home is not here. And that is when I realized that I don't need to feel home or to settle down in order to start living the life I want.

Yet, there is a certain level of stability that I need to pursue in order to give myself the space to live freely. And, I remembered that that stability can only be attained through Him. It was the moment I felt like I'm missing Him way too much. That I have forgotten, that I have drifted away. This has always been, and will forever be, the main reason of my misery. No matter how much I try to hide from this truth or deny it or find other fake truths to destruct this one true truth, He, Allah, is the one who I need to forever stay in touch with, and never forget that He is here and everywhere just behind my back looking after me and watching me. He is here, and He is all I need.