#13

They come from my mind and run away through my fingers. They don't come back though, nor that I run after them. They keep coming and running and I keep letting them go. I don't want to catch them, but for some reason I have to. And that reason is actually worth the pain, for that is the only thing that I will to run after passionately. And I won't let it slip away from me as all other things. And so, I'm catching some of them here; here is my net that saves and gathers them for me.

I can't find it, where had it gone? It has been just here inside me days ago. Has someone took it or have I left it somewhere? Should I go back and look for it? Or wait till someone gets it for me? And have I truly had it? Or that too was an illusion as everything else?! I want it back. But I can't reach in to get it, nor that I can fake having it already. And this just puts me in the loop of disappointment; do I lack the will?

Is it a nightmare? It hurts me that my daydreams are just for you and now I turned them into nightmares by including myself in them. And so I won't be back till I'm dreaming again, till I'm willing again and till I'm actually doing not saying.

In the end it's Early discipline that saves late inconvenience. ~ Quoted by Ashraf Maged