Daydreams...

There is a picture that I used to adore from the very first time my eyes glanced it. Now, you have no idea how much I hate it, for all the bad memories it brings. Feelings change. So does people. When you go, at least make sure your picture stays beautiful. For it will be the only thing left of you.

There comes a time when you feel too tired to even speak. And as much as you try, no sounds come out of your moving mouth. And every faint sound around you hurts your ears badly. The sound of the clock ticking is so loud that your whole body tickles with it. Your breathing is so heavy that you actually count your breaths. You’re trembling from the inside. You don’t feel your head or your limbs. And though silence surrounds you, there’s a very loud scream inside of you. You try to sleep, you try to escape this void, but you don’t. And your mind can’t stop analyzing every sound it hears, or had ever heard before. You start drawing pictures and directing movies of people you haven’t even heard of before. All inside your little mind. You hear another faint sound, it grabs your attention and your breathing is heavy again. You start thinking “Should I keep my eyes closed, though I’m not asleep? Or should I get out of bed and light up the room?” You open your eyes, and you realize that you a...

Mixed up emotions. Overflow of emotions. Stream of negative thoughts. Hurtful feelings and words in the air. Fake people all around. They keep me wondering: Is it them? Or is it me?! Healing is not easy. Healing must be earned. All good in the world needs effort, and all evil is pretty cheap! I deserve much better than that. Yet, I keep settling for what’s low and empty! Will it ever be? Could it ever be true? Will I be surprised someday? "The future is not ours to see." ~ Doris Day I miss the magic in the words. This is taking longer than expected. I’ll never do this again to myself. This is not right. It’s not healthy. It’s not a challenge. It’s a self destruction process. Do you think it’s possible to love someone who you don’t like? Do you think you can live with someone you don’t like? Do you think it can be controlled? Do you think it’ll be pinky and butterflies all the time? أنا مشتتة Today will pass. So will tomorrow. "Regrets a...

The Hugging Judge* ‘Don't bug me! Hug me!’ - Bumper Sticker Lee Shapiro is a retired judge. He is also one of the most genuinely loving people we know. At one point in his career, Lee realized that love is the greatest power there is. As a result, Lee became a hugger. He began offering everybody a hug. His colleagues dubbed him "the hugging judge" (as opposed to the hanging judge, we suppose). The bumper sticker on his car reads, "Don't bug me! Hug me!" About six years ago Lee created what he calls his Hugger Kit. On the outside it reads "A heart for a hug." The inside contains thirty little red embroidered hearts with stickums on the back. Lee will take out his Hugger Kit, go around to people and offer them a little red heart in exchange for a hug. Lee has become so well known for this that he is often invited to keynote conferences and conventions, where he shares his message of unconditional love. At a conference in San Francisco, the local ne...

A whole life with all its ups and downs, glories and tragedies,victories and losses, drawbacks and perfections, could end in a second. An unexpected second, and even in fractions of that second. You won't know, you won't feel it and you won't have the chance to save yourself. So does it really matter how sad or how happy you feel right now? Does that job you're seeking or this girl, or man, you're longing for matter? Is life really worth all this worries and thinking? Does it?!?!

There are a lot more in life than the box we're limiting ourselves to it. There are a lot more to see, to taste, and to experience. Life isn't just the room you're locked inside. And you have no idea how much opportunities you're missing. So here you have the choice; either you watch life through the glass of your room as it passes you by or you step outside and actually live your life as wild as your dreams and imaginations can take you. And as I get to see the world outside of me, I get amazed by how beautiful it is. How beautiful people or things could actually be. I am amazed. And now that I know that my wild dreams can easily come true, I won't give up and I won't ever accept anything less than that, anything that is less than my worth and my standards. Even if you're the last man on earth, I'd still say No.

Sometimes I feel like I need to breakdown and become weak. I believe I'm too strong that I'm starting to doubt the truthfulness of my feelings! And though I know that this is not true, that I do feel the pain, I'm just not so good enough at showing it. Or maybe I express it in ways other than the common breakdowns. I'm unique you know. And I don't understand why do I see my positive points as negatives, all the time. I mean it's good that I'm strong, yet I don't want this!! I want to be normal?! And who defines normality?? Rather than thinking that I'm not true enough, why don't I think that I'm doing it right, that I'm wiser than most of people. Why do I lower my self esteem, instead of boosting it? I'm perfect the way I am. And I won't even start mentioning what I do wrong in my life. At least for a while. Until I get to believe in myself again.