Daydreams...

Hello, It has a been a while. I don't think you wondered where I am. Anyhow, I'm here, and I am not leaving yet. I am not good. Just not good at all. And it is new to me to confess when I am not good. I used to fake being capable and strong, but no more faking. You will have to deal with the true me, with its ugliness and beauty; that's if there are any beauties. I am not at rest, as if nothing is making me feel at home. Like, wherever I go or whatever I do, it feels like I am hiding from something. I can't figure what it is; I can't see it too. What is it that I truly want? Actually, I know the answer. But the answer is not here in this life. So, basically, I can never find what my heart secretly wishes for. At least, I'll keep finding and losing it every now and then. I am at my weakest point. I hope I never reach any weaker states, because it's devastating. This is what I thought would happen when I surrender to reality, when I stop lyin...

Hi... Miss me? Nah, I don't think so. But I don't care. I'll stay no matter what. Have I told you that I believe I have no friends? Well, yes, I do believe so. "How I define friends?", you might ask. I would simply tell you that a friend is someone who I can frankly tell them everything going on my life, and everything going on my mind. I don't care how much the details are, they must know them all. I must know theirs too. I understand that this might not be the true scope of friendship; friendship is something deeper, and wider in the same time. Friendship is a bond that is unbreakable through time, and it lies in a more spacious place than where I put it.  What?! What am I saying! Did that make sense to you? If it did, then you must be the one. Okay, amidst all of these feelings of loneliness that I have, and the inability of talking and letting out all that I carry in my chest, there is someone who listens. He doesn't talk much. He does...

Dear You, I miss you. Oh, I’m sorry. But, have we met before? I don’t know how to start this. See, I have been talking with you in my mind for too long. Now, I don't know if I should consider you a stranger or a dear friend? But I'll just keep on talking for as long as I can. I need you. I'm at a point in my life where I have lost complete trust in myself. I no longer have faith in me. I don't believe I can change anymore. I have been fighting for too long. So, I will fight no more. I give up. I have changed. I think those who truly change, don't say that they are changing. It just happens naturally and out of their hands. What do you think?  Anyhow, I have come to a point of no return. Actually, I don't want to return; I want to just turn to a different path, a better one.  Too much truth on our first letter? I'm sorry, it might have been a bad entry. I will see you later. Take care!

Dear old friend, I have no idea how I had a dream of you last night, but ever since I woke up this morning, I couldn't let go of your picture in my mind. I miss you, dear friend. I miss you badly. I wonder if you miss me too. I wonder why you have abandoned our friendship. I wonder if you too dream of me every once and awhile. How come does my mind still remember you, specially in the midst of such emotionally exhausting days? I have this belief in dreams that they come right in the time we need them the most. Is my dream a sign of anything at all? Or is it just a game my mind decided to play randomly. I wish you could only know how much I miss you, how much I love you, though all the heartache you have caused me. I just want my friend back. Can I?! The friend who misses you.

Dear future husband, You’re the one who knows me best, or so I believe. You’re the one who knows my life, how it was, and how I’d like it to be. You’re the one who knows my conditions and situations. You know what I've been through, what I've missed in my life, and what have hurt me the most. You know it all.  So, now, I deliver you the responsibility of making it all up for me. Everything I've missed in my life, I want you to be it, and make it happen for me. I’m looking highly up at you. And I know, with every piece of my heart, that you will never let me down. You’ll be my father, before you are my husband. You’ll be my brother, before you are my lover. And you’ll be my everything. I depend on you. And I’ll depend more. For I’ll give you my all. And you know how ready I am to do so. And I’m not afraid. I don’t worry at all. Because I trust you. And before I trust you, I trust God. Because I've prayed to God, to make you the person...

Dear husband-to-be, Though I don't really know who you are, I can just claim that I do, I want you to know this. It's your love for me that has been protecting my little heart from getting broken into little pieces. Pieces that I can't ever gather again. You are my saviour, always was and forever will be. So, you better love me good, and love me so hard that you'll hold my heart too tight in your hands so you make sure it could never fall or get harmed. Your loving wife-to-be. posted from Bloggeroid

Dear friend, Seeing us getting far away from each other is killing me. I can come up with many reasons like maybe because we were inseprable and... I know you're busy, I totally understand what has been keeping you away and I can give you your space and let you live your life freely. But here's the thing, I've been waiting for you. There's where I went wrong. Because you haven't come to me when you could, or maybe u did, but just not hard enough. And it's all been my mistake because I'm the one who has been waiting, expecting. I'm the one who is not moving on with my life freely, i still dwell on the times when we were inseprable. But you have a total different life now and you're over those times. I couldn't tell you this face to face because, I know it's not your fault and it's out of your hands. I just want you to know that i really care so much that it aches! ... Will love and miss you forever, Your faithful friend. posted f...