Daydreams...

- No one can draw a smile on my face and make it last for too long like he does. That's why I'm marrying him. = And no one can make you cry like him!! -Yes, that is true. But that is how it works; the one who makes you laugh deep from your heart is the same one who makes you cry deep from your heart. = And after all that happened, after all that he did, will you trust him again?! What will you do when he hurts your heart again?! - First of all, that's a lame thought. Why do you insist on predicting the worse? Why don't you just wish me luck and hope the best for me?! Secondly, let's assume it happens and he hurts me again. I don’t think I would mind it then. Because when it happens, I would have lived the time of my life with him. I would have tasted the happiness I'm destined to taste in this life. And I would not regret it. On the contrary, I'm sure I will regret not marrying him one day. Please support me. That's what friends are for, aren...

I need to scream "What's wrong with you people??" Why is it that everyone is so immersed in their own lives and their own problems that they can't even think what others may be feeling or even thinking? Why is it that life has become so tough on everyone that no one now has the time to communicate properly with the people around them, even the closest to them, their family and their friends. I bet anyone can now recall one true and real friend. A friend who has been always there, in the good and in the bad. A friend who gives as much as he takes. I'm talking here about a profound, true, and healthy friendship. A friendship that could last forever. We've lost a lot of values and a lot of principles along the way.  People no longer care for those little things that make life a better, more beautiful place. Those little words and acts of kindness and compassion. I miss such a wonderful world, that deep down I do believe it still exists.

What am I supposed to do when you're not there by my side? I turn to my left and I expect to see you; you're not there. Time doesn't pass easily without your sweet words and looks. And I live a hard time when I don't hear your voice. Yet, I understand that you had to go. I even understand that you shouldn't be here where I want you to be. I understand that you're only available in the world of my dreams. I understand that I can fancy as much as I'd like, and nothing will ever become true. And I also understand that it's out of your hands. You don't know. And you shouldn't know. But I can't help not saying that I wish I had a brother like you.

I came to realize that you are not the person who I thought you were. I remember the day I announced you as a dear and best friend. And I remember you saying how glad you are. But then, you never treated me that way. Maybe once or twice, just because it was easy at that time to do so, just because you too needed a friend. But no, you never were a friend to me, and I don't believe you'd ever be. I'm not disappointed or anything. I just keep saying this out loud to myself to accept the fact that not everything I would wish for, I would get. 

Yesterday is not coming back, however bad or good, it ends at the moment we fall asleep. And tomorrow is a new day to come, that's a fact you can't run away from. By new I mean that it's totally unpredictable, even if you can do some guessing, you can never be sure, never! But today is your day, the only day you have a full control of. Today starts the minute you wake up; and then you have a choice to make at the minute you open up your eyes and get fully conscious. It's a decision whether you'll gladly accept today, the day that's given to you to be in full control of it, or you'd throw it away. It's your choice. Today I've chosen to do, get out and just go get what I want! Today was like a dream coming true, what happened in every minute of the day and how I felt was just indescribable. Hope spoke to me today, it whispered into my ears and said that it's looking upon me. Then some very true friendship came along to say that it exists really ...

ساعات بسأل نفسي مين الناس دي؟ و إزاي بقوا كده؟ و لا أنا بقيت كده إزاي؟ مين الي اتغير؟ و مين الي بعد؟ و ليه بعدنا؟ و بقى ايه مصيرنا؟ و يا عالم لسه الي جاي ايه؟ يا ترى كانت حياتنا هتبقى  عاملة ازاي لو كنا فضلنا؟ كانت حياة مين هتغلب؟  و لا كانت هتبقى حاجة تانية؟ كل واحد فينا مشي في اتجاه عكس التاني اتجاهات لا يمكن تتقابل في يوم و مشينا و اتفرقنا بس بنرجع نتلاقى  في ذكرة قديمة مشوشة بالعافية قادرين نفتكر ها و بنفضل عايشين في صورة,  ليك أو ليا,  برده قديمة,  مش فاكرين شايلنها فين و فجاءة بنتقابل من بعيد لبعيد مش بنتكلم  بس بنسمع بعض  و بنشوف بعض  و بنعرف أخبار بعض " ايه ده, دي اشتغلت؟!  و ايه ده, ده خطب! ما شاء الله " و بنفتكر قد ايه كنا قريبين  و قد ايه كنا بنحب بعض و نرجع نسأل نفسنا ليه بعدنا و ليه اختلفنا و يا ترى كان ايه هيبقى مختلف لو كنا فضلنا محدش بيجاوب, محدش عنده إجابة و يومين و كل واحد...

I've had a dream, no it's a nightmare. Because in that dream I dreamed last night, all of my life's dreams crashed down. I've lost you! Dramatically. I didn't want to talk about it because talking about it makes it stay longer inside my head. I've been avoiding it but I fail and it never leaves me alone, every now and then the picture of you leaving and me crying, according to that awkward nightmare, pops up on my mind! And I had a hard time convincing myself in the morning when I woke up that you are still here, still beside me. Yes I get scared, so many times and every time actually. Every time I think I've lost someone. I get scared of what the future might bring for us. I'm scared of the idea that I might be left alone one day with no one beside me when I need people the most! I fear having no one to share my laughs and my tears whenever I laugh or shed a tear. Yes I'm too afraid. I'm too afraid to reap what I've sown, though I haven...

Well, no one is perfect, you know. And I'm striving to be perfect, I mean good at least, or maybe I can hit it and be great one day. But I strive and work hard for it, I really do, this is one thing you should know and keep in mind. So don't try to judge me or think how I can be.        And don't make it hard for me to speak and tell what's in my heart. And be a friend who listens, shares and then guides.  Be the picture I'm trying to draw for you in my mind. Because sometimes I really need a friend, a friend who is me when a friend is needed. And I keep looping around and settling to the fact that no friend is good for me but Me. In the end, May Allah guide "Me" to the right path. Because in the end no one will guide me except Allah...

Here it comes, my let out, the air my mind breathes, my best friend, my guide and mentor, my love, my work, my life and my everything. It's this white page. This white page calls me every night and it asks me: "How was your day?!" "Is there something bothering you?" "You look happy today, oh tell me I can't wait to be happy for you." "Have you learnt anything today?!" "Have you got a story to share?" ... Some nights I answer it, because I'm so desperate to talk. Other nights I ignore its call just because I don't have a suitable answer. And sometimes the answer is so, so long that it'll take days to tell, not just a night. But it still calls me every single night, and it has never given up on me, it's a true and real friend. Sometimes it has things to tell me too -yes it's a two sided relation- things it wants me to learn, and enjoy listening and talking about. It's incredible and amazing. Tonight is o...

With a mix of pride, contentment, tiredness, enjoyment, laughter, walking, easiness, and lots of happiness around me, I had a happy day today. Sadly it ended with a big disappointment, and a shock. When I found myself like a fool who can't understand a thing as I have I no idea what they were talking about! Though I thought I'd be the first to know before anyone else could know anything at all. I was hurt, deeply, because I could have never imagined that coming from you, you: the one who I thought together we were inseparable. Now it's like we are strangers! ... I'm shocked! I wonder whose fault is that? Mine? Because I disappeared for a while, because i walked out of the picture for just some little minutes? Why haven't you called me to get back into the picture quickly?! I'm desperately in need of an answer to the question: "What happened to us? What brought us to here?" posted from Bloggeroid

Dear friend, Seeing us getting far away from each other is killing me. I can come up with many reasons like maybe because we were inseprable and... I know you're busy, I totally understand what has been keeping you away and I can give you your space and let you live your life freely. But here's the thing, I've been waiting for you. There's where I went wrong. Because you haven't come to me when you could, or maybe u did, but just not hard enough. And it's all been my mistake because I'm the one who has been waiting, expecting. I'm the one who is not moving on with my life freely, i still dwell on the times when we were inseprable. But you have a total different life now and you're over those times. I couldn't tell you this face to face because, I know it's not your fault and it's out of your hands. I just want you to know that i really care so much that it aches! ... Will love and miss you forever, Your faithful friend. posted f...