Daydreams...

From where shall I start?! Three years ago, or maybe more, I have been keeping a secret journal where I used to lay down all my feelings and fantasies about a love that I was not able to admit. Back then, I knew these feelings were not right, and it was not a true love, and that is why I couldn't admit it. Randomly finding this journal, and reading it today, made me discover how naive I was for believing in my feelings. But then again, who am I to judge my former feelings. I mean, this is not right; feelings are supposed to be always right. Actually, they do not fall in the categorization as right or wrong. They are just feelings that come to us and we must accept them as they are. We should not judge our own feelings to say they are right or not. We should accept them, and let them be felt as is. So, maybe I was right about everything I have felt back then, because up till this moment I still fall for the same things, and the same feelings. What actually matter are the decisions ...

- No one can draw a smile on my face and make it last for too long like he does. That's why I'm marrying him. = And no one can make you cry like him!! -Yes, that is true. But that is how it works; the one who makes you laugh deep from your heart is the same one who makes you cry deep from your heart. = And after all that happened, after all that he did, will you trust him again?! What will you do when he hurts your heart again?! - First of all, that's a lame thought. Why do you insist on predicting the worse? Why don't you just wish me luck and hope the best for me?! Secondly, let's assume it happens and he hurts me again. I don’t think I would mind it then. Because when it happens, I would have lived the time of my life with him. I would have tasted the happiness I'm destined to taste in this life. And I would not regret it. On the contrary, I'm sure I will regret not marrying him one day. Please support me. That's what friends are for, aren...

في محاولة بائسة للنوم يتقلب كلاهما على جانبيهما مرات عديدة متفرقة دون أن يتلاقا ولو لثواني. وعلى الرغم أن كلاهما يدرك مشاعر الآخر جيدا، لم يحاول أحدا إشراك الآخر في إيجاد حل لهذه الحالة التي وقعوا تحت تأثيرها، حالة القلق وعدم الاستقرار. كلا منهما كان يبحث عن طريقة للهروب بعيدا، ومع ذلك أبا أن يحاولا المشاركة في إيجاد الطريق. حتى أتت اللحظة الحاسمة؛ لحظة الوصول إلى قرار. لم يتمكنا أيضا أن يجتمعوا على قرار واحد، فإحداهما قرر الاستسلام والآخر قرر أن يثور. وهكذا كانت تمر لياليهم، بين اتفاق على الاتجاه واختلاف على الطريق.