Daydreams...

I have always hated dreams. Simply because they are true! Think about it; dreams always tend to face you, either with your deepest fears, or your deepest desires. Both ways, you will get hurt, because you wouldn't like to face your fears that you can't change, or your desires that you can't fulfill. Looking from the other side, dreams tell you the truth about who you are, and who you want to be. So, dreams help you discover yourself, which I think is an advantage. Anyhow, change is hard, and facing reality is even harder. That is why I'm not a fan of dreams, and I wish I could never dream, because they, literally, ruin my reality!

I've only listened because I respect you, I respect your anger and care about me. And I couldn't tell you that all you're saying is exactly what I'm thinking. I can't make you trust me again. I can't make you understand that I am strong enough to appreciate all the good you did to me. I can't convince you that I'm right and not by any means wrong. That I stood up for my right and your rights too. I can't tell you that I'm a good daughter. It's something that must be proven, not said. But what you did didn't help me much. It only increased my pain. Not because what you were saying was wrong. But because the words were tough. Very tough indeed. You've put my self esteem down. You've made me feel like a worthless messy ignorant person. Maybe you think this supports me; but it doesn't. This isn't what I need right now. And how could I even know what I actually need. I'm broken, lost and my thoughts are messed up. ...

There's just nothing to talk about. Nothing at all! That's how I get to feel sometimes.Because I think there's only one truth about this whole life. And it's the only thing that's worth talking about and even thinking about. So let's focus on this only truth. Let's face it. Let's let it control our lives and it becomes our whole life, our life's main purpose. So here you are, doing your best to focus and think of what only really matters. And it's not as hard as it may seem. You actually manage to focus, maybe only when you're really too tired of life, for a couple of minutes, and sometimes even for a whole complete hour. But then you get bored. You want to drink something, eat something, watch TV, or you maybe just want to sleep. And b-ooo-h! You're back to the life you've been living. You're back to the misery- or the joy!! Well no, life isn't as bad as I may sound, but it isn't as good as it felt in that last hour. Bec...