Daydreams...

Every piece of art you make, holds a piece of your soul. What I truly love about this art is its consistent randomness, which actually makes it more random! And the details that you may randomly add even though they may seem not necessary.

Read vertically, if you can.

عايزة أقعد أكتب للصبح .. كلام كتير ورا بعضه ومالوش علاقة ببعض .. ماتفهمش منه حاجة بس تطلع منه بألف معنى ومعنى... عايزة أسهر على كتاب ومانامش لحد ما يخلص .. أو يقف بيا الزمن ومايرجعش إلا لما أخلص قراية كام كتاب كده... عايزة أجري كتير وأفضل أجري وأجري لحد ماتعب .. لأ لحد ما التعب يخلص .. لحد ما أبطل أحس بأي حاجة... عايزة أكل أكلة حلوة.. غريبة وجديدة ومشبعة .. تكون حادقة ومسكرة في نفس الوقت .. وما تتعبنيش وما تخنيش! عايزة أفضل سهرانة طول الليل والصبح أروح شغلي وأنا فايقة ورايقة .. وأضحك وأهزر وأشتغل بجد... عايزة أضحك على الساعة وأقولها أنا سابقاكي بساعة.. بدل ما كل مرة أبصلها وألقيها بتجري بعيد عني... عايزة أحلم حلم حقيقي .. ولما أصحى أحكيه للناس كلها واستناه يجي تاني، حلم أو حقيقة... عايزة أقابل ناس معرفهاش وأتكلم معاها بالساعات وأكتشف فعلا إني ما أعرفهمش .. ناس غريبة مش شبهي ولا حتى بأي طريقة... عايزة أقعد قدام البحر يوم بحاله .. 24 ساعة يعني .. أشوف الشمس وهي طلعة و أشوفها وهي نازلة وأشوفها وهي بتعاكسني كل ما أبصلها... عايزة أطلع فوق الجبل وألمس ...

Mixed up emotions. Overflow of emotions. Stream of negative thoughts. Hurtful feelings and words in the air. Fake people all around. They keep me wondering: Is it them? Or is it me?! Healing is not easy. Healing must be earned. All good in the world needs effort, and all evil is pretty cheap! I deserve much better than that. Yet, I keep settling for what’s low and empty! Will it ever be? Could it ever be true? Will I be surprised someday? "The future is not ours to see." ~ Doris Day I miss the magic in the words. This is taking longer than expected. I’ll never do this again to myself. This is not right. It’s not healthy. It’s not a challenge. It’s a self destruction process. Do you think it’s possible to love someone who you don’t like? Do you think you can live with someone you don’t like? Do you think it can be controlled? Do you think it’ll be pinky and butterflies all the time? أنا مشتتة Today will pass. So will tomorrow. "Regrets a...

Dream but don't expect your dream to come true. Work hard but remember that you might be working wrong.

You should have asked first. You really did. It isn't something that you own alone. We all did. Not just because it was first suggested by you, you'll consider yourself the only one responsible for it! We should have talked about it. Maybe we could have found another different solution than the one you came up with and forced on all of us. Maybe I would have suggested that we break it all up. Maybe you would have spoken to me about how important we should keep going and never give up. You should have cared, about how I would feel, about how we'd all feel. We should have studied it together, analyzed it from each other's views, and came up with a decision that satisfies all of us. Now see where you've put me. I'm there, yet I'm absent. I'm not interested anymore, and I'm losing my passion. And, to me, it no longer feels mine. It's all yours, and according to your decision, do whichever you'd like about it. You're forcing me to go. Yet...

It's bad that I don't have a post under the date of Jan 1; I've been trying hard to think of something. And it's bad that I don't have anything to say, I mean I do have things to say, but nothing of which I'd like to be saying. And this is getting really weird and dull. And here comes my fear. Yes, I'm afraid, again, that I'm getting myself into a dull process of life. I'm not complaining or anything, I'm just afraid that I might complain someday and this is the one thing I would never like to do. So, I'll get myself into a challenge, a challenge to love that place and what I do there. And I've already cleared out my intentions, I'll be there giving, and not taking anything in reward, because those people are kind and good and they deserve it, they deserve my giving. So, this is how a teacher feels?! Why does everything gets messed up and mixed up with "fear"?! Fear, you're a very bad "thing"!! I won't...

It's like I'm okay till I get to remember you! And, it doesn't end there, it goes all the way to you and your life. What hurts the most is knowing that your life is good and you're happy, but I'm not the reason. I, then, ask myself: Where am I? Did you ask yourself such a question?! That place didn't fit me. I don't fit to those people or to their lives. Like they are in pace with each other, each one has an update and a story to tell. But I'm totally out of pace, I'm quiet. But I do so much believe that each one has a totally different life than the other, and it's not necessary to have a life like theirs, I just need to have a life. I only have a dream of  life.  [Read  this ! It's important. The picture is from there too.] Another friend of mine got married today! Wow,  I'm really so happy for her, she deserves the best! =)) And after all, I've enjoyed a warm family dinner. It was so pleasing and sweet, just like years a...

It's November. I haven't mentioned this before, I know, and we have already passed the first half of the month. But since the first of November and I have been thinking about it. About November. There's something unique with it. Like the movie "Sweet November", November is sweet for me. Maybe because it holds some events those are dear to my heart, actually they are just two. Maybe it just sounds sweet. But there is more. November comes in between autumn and winter. I don't normally call November a month of the winter, because mostly, here in Egypt, it's still not that cold in November, but it starts to chill a little with a nice warm winter breeze (it's actually a cool breeze, but it's warm in its feelings). This year, it rained in November, such a happy thing to be added to the month. Or maybe the secret lies in the fact that it is the month before the last in the year, like the happy moments which come just before a dramatic end. November feels...

“ The hardest period in life is one’s 20s. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening. ” - Helen Mirren

I know you were trying to help me, figure it out for me and solve my problem. But what I really needed was for you to listen to me and my silly talk. I need your help, but that what you offer I get it as a depressing talk!  Don't ever start by saying that I haven't done my job well. Don't assume that I don't know what my work is. You think you know all the facts, all that you need to judge me and assume correctly, but you're wrong! So wrong actually and you've hurt me that way! And you know it!! So don't play the victim part now and say that my response was tough! In fact I'm the victim here and you should apologize!  This's just typical; a cliche! 

" There is no pain.  Just atoms becoming humans and picnics, lovers and stars. And then something else. And sometimes it feels like if the wind blew too hard, it'd take us all with it. You don't have to close your eyes. There is no pain. Just atoms becoming the blood that pumps through your heart and the knot in your throat, the clouds above us and air inside your lungs. There's nothing to cry about. There is no pain. Just the light from distant suns and flocks of birds. The sensation of time passing. Waves against the sky. Those shudders than run through your body, aren't there. Your nose isn't blocked. There is no pain. " --  I wrote this for you Enough to remind us that life is just...life. That we are created from void and one day everything around us, as well as we, will become void again! And all that we worry about today will just seem to have been in vain tomorrow. So please smile for that's the best thing you can do right now at ...

Sorry, but I don't believe you're still the same person who I've chosen to become my friend. And maybe you're still just the same as before, never changed. Both cases, sorry I don't feel we are for each other anymore. We have gone too far away, two separate paths, two totally different lives. And I believe I have changed tremendously. I don't know about you, but my change is enough to say: Sorry, we can't be friends anymore! Though I really miss our friendship! But giving it a second thought, that kind of friendship we had that I miss was just for a very short period of time. You gave me some of my best days ever and I owe you that. I hope you felt the same about those days we had together. But then everything went wrong and we parted and parted miles away. Those best days, this kind of friendship, can just Never come back, how hard we tried. I'm really Sorry!

"To devote yourself to the creation and enjoyment of beauty can be a serious business - not always necessarily a means of escaping reality, but sometimes a means of holding on to the real when everything else is flaking away into a plot." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert from "Eat Pray Love"

"Promise yourself to be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on the greater achievements of the future." Reading this reminded me of you, only you. It's written on my new notebook, the notebook I'm writing in it my 'voyage'. I know I've been too lazy lately to come here everyday and I understand if you got mad at me because of this and ever wondered why??! I won't promise you to come back soon, I'll let surprises enter our life. I'll only say this: I lost the ability to describe a 'daydream', and till I get it back I'll go on my voyage. Ramadan Kareem. May it be a blessed month for all of us. And may Allah accept our good deeds. Allah bless you and keeps you safe. I love you. =)

" Until suddenly it hit me: where others would laugh it off, I spent my life worrying about it. I couldn't get over it. That was my reward: I cared. And I cared so strongly that even when I finally realized that this was no reward at all, I couldn't bring myself to stop. This was important. There was always that chance that one day the failures would stop. " Taken from:  Dreamers Often Lie

Whether it’s something you're holding onto out of hope or out of fear, just let it go. Let it go, it's killing you; it burns you deep inside. Let it go because you don't deserve this pain. Let it go because you deserve much better. Let it go because it doesn't matter, it's so cheap. Let it go because your faith is much more stronger. Let it go because I haven't cared so much about anyone like you before, and now I do. Let it go because I don't want you to make the same mistake as I do. Let it go because it will go anyway. Let it go as soft as it could go. And don't, please don't, let me lose you or see your faith weak. You don't know how much you're loved. You're actually needed. And only let your faith be in Allah.

Are you missing something? Looking for something?  Tired of everything  Searching and struggling  Are you worried about it?  Do you wanna talk about it?  There's so much to be scared of  And not much to make sense of  Are you running in a circle?  You can't be too careful  And you can't relate it  'Cos it's complicated  You're gonna get it right sometime It's how you see the world  How many times can you see?  You can't believe what you learn  It's how you see the world  Don't you worry yourself  You're not gonna get hurt  Is there something missing?  There's nobody listening  Are you scared of what you don't know?  Don't wanna end up on your own?  You need conversation  And information.....  You're gonna get it right sometimes  It's how you see the world  How many times have you heard?  You can't believe a word  It's how you see the world  Do...

I don't feel like posting today. Though it's such an easy thing to do. I have what to say and I don't care who will be reading. Yes, I want it to be spread as much as possible, but I always believe that as I keep on posting as much as it'll be spread and known. But today, I don't feel like posting. And it's because I feel uninterested, I want to disappear and stay hidden, shinning away maybe. It's because of you? You weren't here, so I didn't have the reason to stay. And because I'm too shy to share! Besides, which will I share? I've got a lot and they are all good! But I have nothing specific to say!

When you indulge yourself in others' lives, you get to expect things from which you get nothing. Doesn't that leave you a little bit broken? And I think, how many souls are there who are hurt because of me? And how many souls out there hurt me?