Daydreams...

From where shall I start?! Three years ago, or maybe more, I have been keeping a secret journal where I used to lay down all my feelings and fantasies about a love that I was not able to admit. Back then, I knew these feelings were not right, and it was not a true love, and that is why I couldn't admit it. Randomly finding this journal, and reading it today, made me discover how naive I was for believing in my feelings. But then again, who am I to judge my former feelings. I mean, this is not right; feelings are supposed to be always right. Actually, they do not fall in the categorization as right or wrong. They are just feelings that come to us and we must accept them as they are. We should not judge our own feelings to say they are right or not. We should accept them, and let them be felt as is. So, maybe I was right about everything I have felt back then, because up till this moment I still fall for the same things, and the same feelings. What actually matter are the decisions ...

I’m starting over. Starting fresh and new, just the way I like it. And not just that! My dream is actually coming true. Everything I ever wanted, or even just thought or dreamed of, is becoming a reality. But hey, it’s not all pinky and easy. My dream is achieved with Allah’s, the most generous and the most merciful, blessings. Alhamdulillah. However, the dream must be maintained, and that’s by the hardest and most passionate work I could ever do. It’s a huge responsibility. Blessings, however, always come with responsibilities, that indeed I’m totally, inshaa’Allah, ready to take them effortlessly. I’m happy. Stressed, yet happy. I don’t feel hungry anymore! And I’m learning. I won’t stop. So I need to remember this. I need to sustain this fire within me. Remind me if I ever forget! :)

   I wouldn't have said what I had just said and in this way but for the experiences I have had in life and the lessons I have been taught. See I have evolved, grown up, understood life better, or came to the realization that we should never by any mean oppose our own happiness. That we deserve to think for our own best, even if it hurts our hearts to see people we love are a little confused or in distress. I sound harsh, right? But I've been through a lot actually to know how wrong it is to sacrifice your own happiness for others. It's not the lack of appreciation or the denial of your gift to them that would hurt you later on. It's your regrets. And regrets were my worst pain. And I would hate seeing you in pain. We have been told by everyone around us, even by the stories we read and watch, that we should never give our all unless we are sure hundred percent that we were given everything we deserve. Because only then we shall have no regrets. Only then ev...

Well, Ok... This is just another writing project I'm committing to. This time I'm supported and encouraged by others. A dear good very supportive friend I've recently gained has suggested to start writing daily. The exercise is to choose one word, a very random word, and try to write a sentence or a group of sentences about it. I'll also take it as a challenge to apply all the things I've recently learned about creative writing. Ah! and the most important thing is that you must deliver your very first draft. And if you ran out of words then it's time to drop your pen, or move your fingers away from the keyboard! And because I love sharing this with you, so here I will. Off course if you like the idea, then please join me. You also know how your feedback thrills me, so you're totally welcome to leave comments. ;) ... 1 .. 2 .. 3 .. PLAY! Word #1: Sleep Sleep isn't a luxury. We are blessed with the ability to sleep. Sleep eases our pains, both phys...

I'm blessed. Truly a lot! :) .. "Rabbena beyhebek" (Allah loves you) were the words I heard today from a very dear friend, and they were the light that lit my heart and mind. I'm blessed to have this friend to make me realize this fact and be sure of it. Because it's true. "Once a day, Love asked Friendship: 'Why do you exist when I already do?' Friendship replied: 'To put a smile where you leave tears.'" - Anonymous A very old quote, I've first read it back when I was at high school and I've loved it ever since then. And it applies with every situation when a wrong love relationship leaves a scar. Indeed, friends are a great blessing. Specially those who can get you well, the way you that affects you, and help you walk the right path. Luckily, I'm blessed with those friends. All along my way I find them, many thanks to Allah. :) I've been in a lot of pain. A pain I even couldn't recognize or admit. And I hadn...

A refreshing and a recharging night, that was it, seeing my old friends today. It's like as if I've been locking my mind and refusing to think of what I need. I've needed badly to be with you, but I've never thought you'd have such an effect on me. Thank you friends, your presence is usually appreciated, never leave me alone please. Somethings are not meant to be sought. Like appreciation, when you seek it, it runs away. So, be smart enough and never seek appreciation, never seek love, and never seek respect. Instead, do! Do appreciate the good things in your life, and those who bring a meaning into your life, love everyone and everything around you, and respect yourself and others. It comes back to you, believe me. But never ask for it and never seek it, that just won't work. Am I back? Am I truly back? I mean, I'm having a very stressful time at my work, and at my career, currently, but I'm okay and doing just fine. Or was I not good enough becaus...

A year and two days ago, I've said: "One can't live without having what's worth living for. As one tale ends so another begins; and as each day is a new tale to be told, each day is a day to learn and know more, each day is a day to dream and hope.  Then each day deserves to be written. And I'll commit to writing everyday. I'll commit to what's worth living for. Let's call it a project that I'll be working on and you're helping me. Let's say I'll be writing my next whole year, everyday over here. And together we'll help and support, we'll learn and know, we'll inspire and change, we'll share thoughts and insights and we'll face life with a smile even when it keeps frowning." So, Happy Anniversary dear blog, my daydreams. And though I've promised to write my whole past year, I didn't keep my promise. I've only written less than half a year. However, I'm not to say that the...

It was strange, to me, that feeling I felt the minute I saw your face. It was like an unexpected reaction coming out of me, I was taken by the surprise that it can happen, and that easily. And then another one, very odd feeling, very relieving and breath taking feeling, the first time I saw your smile and your laugh. Then this one, the one that I can't believe how I could feel it, the one that proves to me that true and real love has a totally different and sweeter taste when it comes in its right moment, that true love is so much worth the wait, even if I'll wait forever. But the strangest of them all was that feeling I had, the next day, where I could sense you anywhere I went to, or whenever my phone rang! And I've no idea what does this all mean? Is it just a thrill of something new? Is it a soul finding its peace somewhere near? Or is it just a sign that there's something much better left for me, than what I thought I can just settle for? Or am I that eas...

Yesterday is not coming back, however bad or good, it ends at the moment we fall asleep. And tomorrow is a new day to come, that's a fact you can't run away from. By new I mean that it's totally unpredictable, even if you can do some guessing, you can never be sure, never! But today is your day, the only day you have a full control of. Today starts the minute you wake up; and then you have a choice to make at the minute you open up your eyes and get fully conscious. It's a decision whether you'll gladly accept today, the day that's given to you to be in full control of it, or you'd throw it away. It's your choice. Today I've chosen to do, get out and just go get what I want! Today was like a dream coming true, what happened in every minute of the day and how I felt was just indescribable. Hope spoke to me today, it whispered into my ears and said that it's looking upon me. Then some very true friendship came along to say that it exists really ...

Here it comes, my let out, the air my mind breathes, my best friend, my guide and mentor, my love, my work, my life and my everything. It's this white page. This white page calls me every night and it asks me: "How was your day?!" "Is there something bothering you?" "You look happy today, oh tell me I can't wait to be happy for you." "Have you learnt anything today?!" "Have you got a story to share?" ... Some nights I answer it, because I'm so desperate to talk. Other nights I ignore its call just because I don't have a suitable answer. And sometimes the answer is so, so long that it'll take days to tell, not just a night. But it still calls me every single night, and it has never given up on me, it's a true and real friend. Sometimes it has things to tell me too -yes it's a two sided relation- things it wants me to learn, and enjoy listening and talking about. It's incredible and amazing. Tonight is o...

Blogging will be totally different form now on. It's all because I've been introduced to Bloggeroid, something i've been dreaming of since long. My thanks goes to the one who introduced it to me, I owe him too much, and even much more. You'll witness the difference! ;) posted from Bloggeroid

I love the date of today. And this is one thing I shouldn't say. But I'm writing because I feel like writing, though I have no idea how can I express the feelings flowing inside of me. I'm too overflown by gratefulness. Gratitude is the word that describes me best, right now. I've remembered an old obsession, that I'm positively sure is over now. But I've went through all that I've written about it. How true it was, and still it is. And how feelings can change in a tremendous way like this and become solid again after a huge quake?! But I'm happy. I'm happy I'm positive about my feelings. I'm happy that I know it and I can put a strict, non-gray, definition for it. I'm happy I have come to a belief and a realization, that sometimes what the heart wishes for doesn't come true in the same picture the heart has put for itself. That dreams do come true but reality has a different screen. Only smart people can know the difference and rel...

There's a beauty in things that are not seen.                      Trying to hide a smile inside yourself is beautiful.  Figuring out a secret , all by yourself, is beautiful .      Having something to say to someone else, but you prefer keeping it inside, is beautiful. Getting the chance to know what has been hidden inside someone else's heart is beautiful.                 Listening to a song and dreaming of it being dedicated to you is beautiful.  Having a dream is beautiful .                                           Chasing your dream is beautiful .  Knowing someone else's wish is beautiful.          Feeling the happiness of someone else is beautiful.  Sharing sadness with someone el...