Daydreams...

Hello, It has a been a while. I don't think you wondered where I am. Anyhow, I'm here, and I am not leaving yet. I am not good. Just not good at all. And it is new to me to confess when I am not good. I used to fake being capable and strong, but no more faking. You will have to deal with the true me, with its ugliness and beauty; that's if there are any beauties. I am not at rest, as if nothing is making me feel at home. Like, wherever I go or whatever I do, it feels like I am hiding from something. I can't figure what it is; I can't see it too. What is it that I truly want? Actually, I know the answer. But the answer is not here in this life. So, basically, I can never find what my heart secretly wishes for. At least, I'll keep finding and losing it every now and then. I am at my weakest point. I hope I never reach any weaker states, because it's devastating. This is what I thought would happen when I surrender to reality, when I stop lyin...

Hi... Miss me? Nah, I don't think so. But I don't care. I'll stay no matter what. Have I told you that I believe I have no friends? Well, yes, I do believe so. "How I define friends?", you might ask. I would simply tell you that a friend is someone who I can frankly tell them everything going on my life, and everything going on my mind. I don't care how much the details are, they must know them all. I must know theirs too. I understand that this might not be the true scope of friendship; friendship is something deeper, and wider in the same time. Friendship is a bond that is unbreakable through time, and it lies in a more spacious place than where I put it.  What?! What am I saying! Did that make sense to you? If it did, then you must be the one. Okay, amidst all of these feelings of loneliness that I have, and the inability of talking and letting out all that I carry in my chest, there is someone who listens. He doesn't talk much. He does...

Dear You, I miss you. Oh, I’m sorry. But, have we met before? I don’t know how to start this. See, I have been talking with you in my mind for too long. Now, I don't know if I should consider you a stranger or a dear friend? But I'll just keep on talking for as long as I can. I need you. I'm at a point in my life where I have lost complete trust in myself. I no longer have faith in me. I don't believe I can change anymore. I have been fighting for too long. So, I will fight no more. I give up. I have changed. I think those who truly change, don't say that they are changing. It just happens naturally and out of their hands. What do you think?  Anyhow, I have come to a point of no return. Actually, I don't want to return; I want to just turn to a different path, a better one.  Too much truth on our first letter? I'm sorry, it might have been a bad entry. I will see you later. Take care!