Daydreams...

Dear old friend, I have no idea how I had a dream of you last night, but ever since I woke up this morning, I couldn't let go of your picture in my mind. I miss you, dear friend. I miss you badly. I wonder if you miss me too. I wonder why you have abandoned our friendship. I wonder if you too dream of me every once and awhile. How come does my mind still remember you, specially in the midst of such emotionally exhausting days? I have this belief in dreams that they come right in the time we need them the most. Is my dream a sign of anything at all? Or is it just a game my mind decided to play randomly. I wish you could only know how much I miss you, how much I love you, though all the heartache you have caused me. I just want my friend back. Can I?! The friend who misses you.

When words get stuck in your throat and never attempt to get out of your heart. When emotions are too deep and complicated that they can’t be expressed, but only felt. When fear becomes the theme of your life. When you hold your own problems with your own hands but never manage to throw them away. When you choose to surrender, though you understand it very well that it really hurts to think it over. When life passes by you and you don’t get to catch it. When you just wish life stops here so you don’t live longer and make more mistakes. When you hold on to the moment so hard and wish it never leaves because you just can’t imagine how could it possibly be otherwise. Only then, just give it all up. Give it up to Allah, the owner of life and death.

Dear Mr who knows it all Who was even once called Mr All The one who gathers us in a row Then bangs the world and makes it snow I passed by all the names that were once in a fall And though I no longer need to call Your knife is still hanging on my wall And I can’t help not suffering any more At least for those who still fall For a fake personality that is short but looks tall You make me rhyme, and that’s nothing small That’s your magic and that I know So thank you for lighting up my mind after it has crashed in the blow Should you even be loved?! Is it that kind of glow?! Dear Mr Small Please stop collecting hearts!

Sometimes I feel like I can’t take it anymore, and sometimes I just can’t stop laughing about it. This is life, and it is pretty hard on everyone, so get used to it and know that it lasts for no one.

I’m worried! And I’m afraid! And this only means one thing; that I have got something I’m afraid to lose. Looking at the bright side: I have something; something that I’m grateful for and I love so much that I can’t stand losing it. However, the dark side is the attachment, and the love of materialism; the love of dunya. Still, I’m confused if this is love of dunya, or is it gracefulness?! Because there’s a fine line between both; and you can never know where life might take you!

You know you are attached to something when your heart aches as you watch it leaving, like it’s taking your soul with it. We are attaching creatures. We like to get attached to things, to people, to ideas, to the past, or to the hope of the future. We can’t live without being attached to something. This is our nature; our humanity. This attachment comes with its consequences. It isn’t priceless, you know! And its price is your soul; your life. When you are forced to detach, you die. Not until you find something else to get attached to that your life comes back. Unless, and only if, you get attached to the One who never leaves, the One who never ends, the past, the present, the future, the whole universe and beyond; the creator of life and death. Be careful what you are attached to and save your soul all this endless heartbreak.

Everyone is searching for something. Everyone is feeling incomplete. Everyone is looking for perfection. However, they are looking in the wrong place. Life isn’t, never was, or ever will be complete. And the thing you’re seeking will never be found. So keep searching, until you understand, that you shall search no more. Good Luck finding your missing piece!