Daydreams...

I’m worried! And I’m afraid! And this only means one thing; that I have got something I’m afraid to lose. Looking at the bright side: I have something; something that I’m grateful for and I love so much that I can’t stand losing it. However, the dark side is the attachment, and the love of materialism; the love of dunya. Still, I’m confused if this is love of dunya, or is it gracefulness?! Because there’s a fine line between both; and you can never know where life might take you!

You know you are attached to something when your heart aches as you watch it leaving, like it’s taking your soul with it. We are attaching creatures. We like to get attached to things, to people, to ideas, to the past, or to the hope of the future. We can’t live without being attached to something. This is our nature; our humanity. This attachment comes with its consequences. It isn’t priceless, you know! And its price is your soul; your life. When you are forced to detach, you die. Not until you find something else to get attached to that your life comes back. Unless, and only if, you get attached to the One who never leaves, the One who never ends, the past, the present, the future, the whole universe and beyond; the creator of life and death. Be careful what you are attached to and save your soul all this endless heartbreak.

Everyone is searching for something. Everyone is feeling incomplete. Everyone is looking for perfection. However, they are looking in the wrong place. Life isn’t, never was, or ever will be complete. And the thing you’re seeking will never be found. So keep searching, until you understand, that you shall search no more. Good Luck finding your missing piece!

Those certain mistakes you make that break your heart permanently and can’t be fixed ever again. The scars will stay forever inside your heart to change the course of your whole life ever after.

Since it’s my only way to let it go, my only way to breathe, I’ll have to write it down, for you. So, be prepared to know one of my deepest secrets, which, I believe, is your deepest secret too. We are all one, aren’t we?! I wish for someone, a life companion, and a true friend. Someone who’s here beside me whenever I’m in need or having a hard time accepting life. Someone who will surprise me every now and then, and gives me random visits just because that would make us both happy. Someone who I could give all of my caring and love to. Someone who listens to me, cries for me, and secretly prays for me. I know I might already be blessed with that person in my life, but I’m not yet aware. That would be my mistake; please pray for me. I also know that maybe Allah hasn't granted me that person yet because I don’t deserve being the center of someone else’s life. Or maybe Allah is telling me that such a person doesn't exist in this life. Or I’m just being taught again and again tha...

Sometimes in life things happen, things that you couldn't understand, you couldn't interpret. And it goes on. Life moves and you move unknowingly. It just happens, all around you, and you have no control. Though you think you are in control, while in fact, you are not. And you wouldn't know if you’re the one who is playing tricks on yourself or if it’s truly tricky. But then again, life moves on and you move. I know that all of the above doesn't make any sense, does it?! But I just lack understanding. I need a break. A break from life!

كلمتين بقالي كتير عايزة أقولهم دموعي بقالها كتير نفسها تنزل و بتلكك على أي كلمة أو حركة أو حتى مشهد من فيلم عبيط خايفة و مطمنة في نفس الوقت فرحانة قوي بحجات كتير بتحصل حواليا و من جوايا حزن و نكد غريب قاعد مستني اللحظة الي هيطلع فيها أصلي مش فاهمة مع إني مستوعبة كويس جدا كأن نفسي مليانة غضب و حقد بس عقلي كله طيبة و سذاجة بسأل نفسي كتير: هو أنا إيه؟ حلوة يعني ولا وحشة؟ كويسة كده ولا سخيفة؟؟ أنا عن نفسي فخورة بيا و بحياتي و بحمد ربنا ميت مرة بالرغم إني حاسة بزهق و ملل مش مفهوم له أول من أخر محتاجة أركز قوي في شغلي و بجد متحمسة قال إيه لسة مستنية أخد على الجو و المكان الجديد أنا أصلا كل حاجة و عكسها هي دي حياتي و حياتنا كلنا و مالناش غير حل واحد ندعي و نكلم ربنا يا رب …