Daydreams...

They get all stressed up, not because of all the things they have to do, but because of all the things they started but haven't finished yet. I have a plan, I know what I should do, but that what I should do doesn't yet speak to my soul, it hasn't touched my heart yet. And I don't know how long shall I wait till it makes a print on me, or what else I have to do to make it speak?! Writing isn't that easy, I came to understand. It's only easy when it means to make yourself feel better, so you pour on all your negative emotions on a piece of a white paper. So you think by that you are cleaning your heart from all the stains that are left on it. Sometimes it works, sometimes you're just running away from your heart. Because sometimes you say the truth and help your heart figure it all out, and sometimes you just walk around your heart and never go deeply through it. It's a matter of how much can you get linked with your heart, and no one can actually fi...

And you're drifting away, building walls before you even notice. Faith is what you need, and faith is what you repel! When it becomes the only one who calls on you so many times a day and the only one you keep ignoring. You're drifting away into the darkness of your own heart and soul. And it breaks my heart seeing you breaking your heart. How can I ask you to stop, when you don't even care about your own heart. And how can I trust that you would trust me? How could we ever live together like this?!

A refreshing and a recharging night, that was it, seeing my old friends today. It's like as if I've been locking my mind and refusing to think of what I need. I've needed badly to be with you, but I've never thought you'd have such an effect on me. Thank you friends, your presence is usually appreciated, never leave me alone please. Somethings are not meant to be sought. Like appreciation, when you seek it, it runs away. So, be smart enough and never seek appreciation, never seek love, and never seek respect. Instead, do! Do appreciate the good things in your life, and those who bring a meaning into your life, love everyone and everything around you, and respect yourself and others. It comes back to you, believe me. But never ask for it and never seek it, that just won't work. Am I back? Am I truly back? I mean, I'm having a very stressful time at my work, and at my career, currently, but I'm okay and doing just fine. Or was I not good enough becaus...

A year and two days ago, I've said: "One can't live without having what's worth living for. As one tale ends so another begins; and as each day is a new tale to be told, each day is a day to learn and know more, each day is a day to dream and hope.  Then each day deserves to be written. And I'll commit to writing everyday. I'll commit to what's worth living for. Let's call it a project that I'll be working on and you're helping me. Let's say I'll be writing my next whole year, everyday over here. And together we'll help and support, we'll learn and know, we'll inspire and change, we'll share thoughts and insights and we'll face life with a smile even when it keeps frowning." So, Happy Anniversary dear blog, my daydreams. And though I've promised to write my whole past year, I didn't keep my promise. I've only written less than half a year. However, I'm not to say that the...

It's just .. still .. meaningless! Whatever I would say would be meaningless. And this is a true awful feeling. To never have a meaning out of anything you say! I've been waiting for too long not to write what I'm writing now. But I couldn't wait longer. This is not what I want to say, and this is not how I think I want to look like. This is not me, and this is not who I dreamed to be. Though yes, from some certain few angles, it does look like me, but overall I think I'm not the one I think I am. See, there's a huge difference between who I actually am, who I wish to be, and who I work hard to become. Three different persons, and they are all me! I've talked a lot about me, which I hate! Which is meaningless! This isn't right.