Daydreams...

Leap of faith... That is how anything ever is achieved, with a leap of faith! 

Egypt is happy today! Everyone is excited and and talking about it. Like a baby taking the very first step and trying this thing called walking freely. And his parents, we Egyptians, are watching and photographing this moment, this huge event, and calling all relatives and friends to tell them how it looks like and how it feels. Egypt is smiling, because today was a day we have fought and got killed for. Today is a day we have dreamed about, a day that even Google has made for it a special doodle! A day to be written in history, and I've lived it... Whooo. And it's not because today was perfect, nothing is perfect. But today was pure and beautiful like how first times and first trials are. Because today is totally different and it feels different. Egypt's historic parliamentary elections and pictures are from  here  ;)

Love, after all, is just a promise. A promise that the love will remain forever, a promise that despite of the long miles between us and the long days of being away we'll be remembered in each other's hearts at every moment of our lives. It's a promise that things will turn out to be perfect, that they can change to be right again, a promise that anything in the world is possible to happen if we just wanted to. And it's a promise that a warm embrace at night before you sleep does solve all the problems of the day. Promises are made to be kept, because promises are made out of love. Because you love so much you promise and you're willing to do anything in the world to keep your promise. Yes, they overlap; love and promises. Because promises only come when there's a true belief and faith in who you promise, and even in yourself, that you can do it, you can keep your promise. It's like: "because I love you, I promise to love you forever." That ...

You break hearts, and you fix them. You make hearts beat fast in happiness and in grief. Hearts can easily fall on your hands. Like butterflies, you gather them in jars. And you don't even know it. Or maybe you do. But it's beautiful, too beautiful to be true. Because it's never your fault, it's the hearts' fault for falling inside your jar. The funny part is that you keep the jar open for hearts to break free, but they don't, they love staying inside, because, honestly, it's warm and beautiful. And it's beautiful because you really take good care of the hearts which fall inside your jars. But sometimes you skip and miss a heart or two, maybe you haven't noticed them falling or you just thought they flew away, this is the only time you break a heart. It's wonderful how hearts come looking for you though you haven't called for any at all. It's wonderful how hearts seek your help, though you don't look like a one who mends broken h...

It's bad to be the second, I think. The second best! Because you're still one of the best, but you're just a feet away from being the best of the best. It's bad because people will only see the best, the first. And maybe they'll forget about the second for a while. The second is hidden behind the first all the time, especially at the moments of lights and sparks. Unlike the third. The third has its place standing still. Being a third, you're good and even too great, you're amazing, just not yet the best. And you know your place well and from it you'll plan to work hard to reach the best. But second best, well, you are the best but not the best at the very same time. Such a hard frustrating place to be at, the second! 

It's like I'm okay till I get to remember you! And, it doesn't end there, it goes all the way to you and your life. What hurts the most is knowing that your life is good and you're happy, but I'm not the reason. I, then, ask myself: Where am I? Did you ask yourself such a question?! That place didn't fit me. I don't fit to those people or to their lives. Like they are in pace with each other, each one has an update and a story to tell. But I'm totally out of pace, I'm quiet. But I do so much believe that each one has a totally different life than the other, and it's not necessary to have a life like theirs, I just need to have a life. I only have a dream of  life.  [Read  this ! It's important. The picture is from there too.] Another friend of mine got married today! Wow,  I'm really so happy for her, she deserves the best! =)) And after all, I've enjoyed a warm family dinner. It was so pleasing and sweet, just like years a...

Somewhere out of all this haze I'm living in, I miss you. It has been always like that, missing you every time everywhere. But who do I miss and what exactly do I miss? Because recently you haven't been who I knew you are. Maybe you have changed or maybe it's me. I think I just miss what I haven't ever got. But it was you who made me expect what I have been wishing for, which is what I miss right now. What happened to me? I thought this was over. I was over expecting and over wishing. But somewhere deep inside of my heart I still long for...for something, I don't know even what to call it. All I know is that I miss you. I miss your existence. I miss being inspired. And I miss having true deep giggles that come from real happiness, not just a fake full of lust one! I don't know what to call this moment?! A moment of awakening or a moment of weakness! But I hate what's going on my mind. My sick schizophrenic mind!! 

It has been two days. They seem like a lifetime. And I refuse to make them longer! I'm trying to persist... But... " There's no right or wrong, there's only public opinion. "  There's also common sense! Things are totally messed up everywhere around me. And I'm afraid we're going back to there. Yes, it has been almost a year and it's not over yet. But these things take time, and it's good to take time, because things that come quickly collapse in no time! And we're fighting for a change that is to remain forever. But the pattern of how things go on is scary. It keeps going up and down so frequently and sometimes we don't go up at all, but we go more to the down! And we keep going down and entering critical sections, but then we recover, for a while, and step up a few steps but then we step down again and even more and more down. Till when we'll be swinging? When will everything be stable again going in a straight line th...

When your plans collapse in front of your eyes. When you get to face the real world, and you're not yet ready to face it. You're not yet prepared, though you are supposed to be very well prepared. It's really a hard life out there. You're asked to give so much more than what you can hold. And people, if they don't help, they just don't stop asking. So you get confused and you change your mind every second. You don't settle and people don't leave you in peace, for a while, with what you might settle for. Just why don't simple dreams get appreciated?! Why do people have to keep fighting for achieving bigger and bigger dreams?! Though, actually, a simple dream might be so hard to achieve. How can one tell and be sure of what one desires?! I'm keeping my word. 

I've passed my 100th post on this blog, yet not my 100th day. And it's a number to reach, a number worth noticing. I'm moving on, keeping it up. I shoot for the stars for maybe I'll get one someday.

I love the date of today. And this is one thing I shouldn't say. But I'm writing because I feel like writing, though I have no idea how can I express the feelings flowing inside of me. I'm too overflown by gratefulness. Gratitude is the word that describes me best, right now. I've remembered an old obsession, that I'm positively sure is over now. But I've went through all that I've written about it. How true it was, and still it is. And how feelings can change in a tremendous way like this and become solid again after a huge quake?! But I'm happy. I'm happy I'm positive about my feelings. I'm happy that I know it and I can put a strict, non-gray, definition for it. I'm happy I have come to a belief and a realization, that sometimes what the heart wishes for doesn't come true in the same picture the heart has put for itself. That dreams do come true but reality has a different screen. Only smart people can know the difference and rel...

It's November. I haven't mentioned this before, I know, and we have already passed the first half of the month. But since the first of November and I have been thinking about it. About November. There's something unique with it. Like the movie "Sweet November", November is sweet for me. Maybe because it holds some events those are dear to my heart, actually they are just two. Maybe it just sounds sweet. But there is more. November comes in between autumn and winter. I don't normally call November a month of the winter, because mostly, here in Egypt, it's still not that cold in November, but it starts to chill a little with a nice warm winter breeze (it's actually a cool breeze, but it's warm in its feelings). This year, it rained in November, such a happy thing to be added to the month. Or maybe the secret lies in the fact that it is the month before the last in the year, like the happy moments which come just before a dramatic end. November feels...

Sometimes words are not enough to say all that you may feel.  Sometimes you decide on not telling any of the words you've thought of, not because you're scared to say them or scared of being misunderstood, but because you feel like it'll be worthless saying them, that it won't really matter if the words are said or not. And sometimes it's simply because, words are not enough to say all that you wish to say, because the truth is so much stronger than how the words might describe it. That's why some words can't be told, they are just felt, or else they don't exist. And those who can't feel the words those can't be said are like those who don't hear the words when they are being said. So, don't regret a word or two that you have wanted to say but at the last minute you stopped yourself from saying them. Because if it had been easy for you saying them, you'd have easily said them. But the reasons and the facts that stopped you...

It's like the doors behind you are tightly closed that you can no longer open them, and you don't have the keys to the doors in front of you. All you're left with is a long colorless corridor full of closed doors painted in a very dark color. But you're running back and forth searching for a key, and sometimes you just sit down and rest for a while, imagining and dreaming of what lies behind the locked doors, what you'll see when they are open and what you'll do there. You're busy, so busy with all the dreams that float in your mind and all the wishes which your heart happily carries. You're too busy with all the things you want to do and all that you want to be. You're busy with the life you seek, but you're stuck. You're stuck between the life you've left behind, and the life that could have been. Somewhere in between the irreplaceable past and the opaque future, there you lie stuck in your present. Which is good and all, but it gi...

You'll never find the perfect one, Mr. Right or Miss Perfect, because they don't really exist in our lives. Besides, you're not Mr. Perfect or Miss Right, so be fair enough and stop looking. What really matters is whether you together are perfect, perfect for each other and in the eyes of each other, whether you look perfect only if you are together. Be fair enough and look for the perfect love and the right relation. And the secret  lies  in those little meaningless things, the things that seem like the flaws and the imperfections, they are what make a relation perfect. Just be fair enough and give yourself a chance to fall into the imperfections which capture your heart and stick in your mind. For… "We're Venus and Mars.  We're like different stars.  But you're the harmony to every song I sing,  a nd I wouldn't change a thing."

Tears are all that I can think of right now. And I didn't want to say it, because it's not the truth. The truth is that I was too happy, or maybe just holding up. I was inspired and charged enough to live a life of success. And you've been on my mind all the time; I've never forgotten you. I live for you and I'm holding up just for you. But then, I left there, and it was too hard saying goodbye. And when I came here again, I found myself lost in a beautiful dream. But, I promise you, that I'll fight and I will come and put the plan into action!  

 "إذا استعجلت شيئا حرمت منه"  I've heard this saying today. And I wouldn't stand being deprived of it, my deepest, most wanted dream. But when or how can I tell if I'm seizing an opportunity or trying to fast-forward time?! Because you have to make believe that whatever is happening to you right now, it is the best that could ever happen to you.  Sometimes life gets so confusing, contradicting, and conflicting! 

If I ever have to mention my best place on earth, then I'll definitely say 'here'. Yes here, where I am right now,  in front of the sea .  And if I have to tell what are the most things I love about here, I'll just say the walks in the nights, the sea at night, actually the whole life at night over here. Though anyone wouldn't call it a life at all, but for me it is a magical life, an amazing one! And in the very early mornings too, it's so bright, relaxing, and peaceful. Here I live a life that gives contentment, not happiness but peace of mind. Here will forever be the place I run to whenever I'm hurt or broken or just need an escape from my hectic world. 

“ The hardest period in life is one’s 20s. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening. ” - Helen Mirren

" Plan your exit from the comfort zone! " That's what I have to start doing, and that is what I've been thinking about lately. I need a plan. And maybe I'll start by trying to sleep at nights and wake up in the mornings, because lately I've been living my life as a bat. In the darkness I arise. [But, honestly, I love the night more! It gives elegance. And the very early mornings, they give style.] I love simplicity, I really do. And thus, I've got to believe in it and apply it. I have to come everyday, really. Because I want to!